My Client Wants Me to Do WHAT?!

As a freelance writer and marketer, I’ve had clients come to me with all sorts of projects. Most of the time, the work involved is well within the scope of human capability — a little research, a little talent and a lot of long hours, and it’s done. Business as usual.

And then there are those other projects.

Sooner or later, you’re going to run into a client that wants you to do something impossible, unethical or illegal. Most recently, a client asked me to put together a 75,000-word ebook on hypnosis techniques – in 10 days. A techie friend of mine recently detailed a client’s demand for a Flash app that runs on an Apple iPad, which (at least for the time being) is not possible unless the iPad owner has purchased conversion software. I talked to a web designer a couple of months ago whose client specifically asked for an underage porn site.

The most obvious approach is to tell the client to shove off. But if you’re dealing with a persistent client (and clients who want insane things are typically the most persistent), there are strategies you can use to keep from being put in an impossible situation:

• Completely document the scope of the project in a contract, and have the client sign it. Sometimes, the offending element of the project doesn’t come out immediately — the client mentions it as an afterthought after the project is already underway. Nailing down the scope in writing keeps you from becoming obligated to do something ridiculous on a client’s whim.
• Explain why the request is not in the client’s best interest. The truth may be that you can’t devote enough hours to the project to make it happen, or that you don’t want someone showing up with a court summons because you completed an illegal project. But the client is more likely to listen if you explain why it’s bad for him. If I try to write a full-length book for a client in 10 days, I’m going to be one tired, irritable freelancer. But it’s more effective to explain that the client will get a thinly-researched book full of grammatical and spelling errors.
• Offer alternatives. Don’t immediately assume that the client is just an idiot when she proposes something you can’t (or won’t) do. Maybe she just hadn’t thought it through. Offering alternatives lets the client get what she wants (or something reasonably close), and keeps you from having to find a replacement client. My techie friend might have kept the client by offering to create equivalent graphics in HTML5. I kept mine by proposing to turn the content into a multi-part course, which the client emailed to subscribers in installments.
• If all else fails, walk away. There comes a point when you realize your client isn’t hearing anything you’re saying. When this happens, it can cost you more to try to salvage a client relationship than to find a new client. Firmly but politely state that you cannot fulfill the client’s project request. If possible, put it in writing, and document that the client received the copy.

Whatever you choose, don’t let yourself get talked into a project that you can’t deliver, or that will get you into legal trouble. No one but you is responsible for your reputation… and in the freelancing world, reputation is an indispensable element of success.